Mindful weight loss by Kristen

Making Progress!

Hello all... So the last couple of weeks have been going great. I upped my exercise routine and I've been feeling great. The weight is coming off at a perfect pace. The most exciting part of my weight loss this week was being able to wear a dress size smaller for my engagement party!

We expected to have about 40 people over for the engagement party and it ended up being well over 100! We both come from different cultures, so I was a little on edge with how it was all going to turn out... it was a raging success! Everyone loved each other and also loved all the different varieties of food from both families. It was so beautiful. One of my aunts even brought zumba skirts for all the ladies so that we could have some fun dancing. I am still on cloud 9. To wish for this your whole life and see it all come to fruition, is nothing short of amazing.

My struggle this week is with my grandmother. She has advancing Alzheimer's and she is staying with us. It is wild to watch her unravel so fast. Little by little she forgets people, places and things. It is breaking my heart. Not only because she goes in spells of major confusion, but she keeps calling her brother and husband who are belated. Also, its hard to watch my parents with her. Like the rest of us, they are trying to cope with losing someone so close to them. It is my fathers mother. My dad is a burly Irish man who does not display emotions well. So for him to watch his mother go through this and ALSO take care of her is heartbreaking.

In life, things happen. Love, break-ups, sickness, babies, weddings, deaths and all of the in between. I don't understand why some people live so long and others are cut off so short. Or, why are left alive and don't remember anything they worked so hard to create. I also don't understand why my grandmother, who is strong willed, healthy, never drank, had 6 kids, 17 grandchildren, and a wonderful children, seems to have been left "behind" on earth just to be tortured. Yet her brother smoked and drank(along with many other things) his whole life and lived happily with a clear mind until he was almost 90. That is my struggle. The whole concept of life. But, as people say "live your life, because tomorrow is no guarantee."   

 

Time for Me

Wednesday, July 20th

I have to say that as the weeks go on, things are getting better and better! I am back into a routine of working out and eating right. Not only is the weight coming off more and more every week (15lbs all together), but I am learning to embrace life as it comes. The good, the bad and all the inbetween!!

 

It may seem very cliche' to say "take life as it comes", but for me its a break through! There are so many things that I want to control, which is the daily battle in my mind, but I have learned to recognize that about myself... and in doing that, I have realized it is my choice to go crazy or stay at peace in my mind. 

 

I have been struggling this week with time. Sometimes it seems I dont have enough of it. As I've mentioned before, I don't like to be OVER busy because then I find it hard to keep track of myself. It seems to become almost impossible to have my body, mind and spirit lined up. When that happens, it is hard to know where I belong, who I am and where am I in this crazy life. I have learned to appreciate and actually love about myself, that I really need to put aside time for a higher power(pray/meditate). Its the part of me that becomes tranformed; where it isnt about me at all. It is when I let go of the battle in my mind.

 

So as I said this week a struggle I had to try and overcome was time. Being on time, having time to eat healthy, meditate and exercise, etc. AND oh yes, all the other people in my life that are complaining I am not "here" enough. I feel spread too thin. I am home for the summer, in NJ, but have a whole other life in NYC that I have had to put on pause. At the same time, I have a bunch of family and friends down here that are complaining about how unavailable I am! In all honesty, I'm just trying to live my life! I want to have calm and quiet for a bit. NYC is loud! The beach is so quiet and pleasant! 

Does it bother me that people think I am not available...? It does. But too bad on all accounts because I am finally taking a leap of faith and sticking to my guns. I am overcoming years of all kinds of junk. I wont stop now.

Loving Life!

July 13, 2011

So this week has been pretty awesome! I kicked up my working out and I am more sore than ever! It feels great to be outdoors all the time, that alone makes me more active. Also, I am loving the peace of the summer at the beach.

For the next 2 months I will be staying with my family at the Jersey Shore where I grew up. My family has always been a great support system for me. No matter where I am or what I am doing, they always have my back. They always give me their oppinions and try and talk me out of a few things, but overall they are amazing! Without them knowing it, they are really helping me on this weight/mindful health journey. I feel like being around them has helped me really re-ground myself in my roots.

The past year has been crazy with work, planning a wedding, moving twice.. I have been so busy I actually forgot to pay attention to myself. I am realizing that I dont like being so busy that it becomes impossible to connect with myself. Being home has really helped me move along in my weight loss. I am so happy and excited for the unknown ahead of me!

Reconnecting with Myself

July 8

 

This week has been wonderful. I feel like my mind is catching up with my spirit. At least in the sense of actually standing by a commitment to being kind to my body. It is less of a struggle to make the right choices rather than the wrong ones. 

My spirit is on fire, I feel passion and warmth again. It's so great to appreciate my body. It gets me around... from point A to point B. It never fails me. Up the mountain, down the mountain my body can take me. If I want to run, or "wog" as I call it (a jog at the pace of a walk, lol) I can do it. There's no excuses that work anymore. I am ready to continue on. 

I am struggling with my image though. Although I know I am doing something about my weight, I feel like I am so far from where I want to be. I am. I am far. I let myself get like THIS and there are moments where I am very hard on myself. But as I make boundaries with other people in my life, I learn that I need to make them with myself. I am not allowed to hate ME anymore. It just doesn't fit. Also, I just can't let myself hate my body, my tool. 

I went on a hike this week. It was the perfect day. Just me and my sis in the crisp upstate New York air. I've needed this for so long. I love to reconnnect with the earth AND my sister. So as we are finished with our hike, she tried to compliment how nice my legs were and what was my response....? "what? I am the biggest fatty ever... My legs are horrible, they do not look good bla bla bla". There I go, just tearing myself down and my sisters opinion of me down. I immediately snapped out of it and apologized to my sister and told her how I am working on taking compliments. I was so ashamed about how I spoke of myself. In that moment I knew I needed to make a new mental boundary for myself, just take a complement and say, "thank you!"

 

It's taking some time to really fall in love with myself all over again. Sometimes its like I have to rekindle this old relationship that lost its spark! I am so grateful for my crazy revelations. It's through those that I am finding out who I am now, and also who I am becoming. My life is beautiful right now. I'm releasing so many things I've held onto emotionally. The act of releasing is my biggest tool right now!

Getting to the Root

June 21, 2011

Since leaving my appointment last week, I must say that I feel like a new person. This particular time I had a major mental breakthrough.

 

When I went in I was feeling a little crazy and my head was all over the place. One of the biggest moments I had was when Nicole helped me realize I "stuff" in a lot of my emotions and what I am thinking... I keep it all in. The connection between stuffing emotions and also stuffing in food, sounds so simple, but in that moment it was big for me.

 

Holding everything in has done be no good. I feel like I have been so shut off/down... I thought it would be too much to get out my thoughts. Not the case! It was so easy because it ended up it was all connected in one way or another...

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June 29, 2011

Every week seems to be getting better and better. I am becoming a stronger person. I feel like making boundaries with food has helped me to make boundaries in other aspects of my life that I have been struggling with for years.

This week has been a huge lesson. All week I have been in a situation where I am with a person that intimidates and scares me. I literally have no voice or say in anything when this person is around (if you know me, I have a VOICE)... I feel walked all over, taken advantage of and extremely disrespected most times. I can blame about 100 different things for causing me to be like this. But, I had some time alone to sit and think, pray and meditate... and what I remembered was, I could call my power back at anytime. It is always there. So I did.

I went for a really long walk and just started to repeat all of the things I knew. Who I was, where I come from, nothing has power over me, I am very loved, I love a lot of people, I can't control what people say to me, I can control what I say AND how I react, etc. The list is long. Ends up there is a lot I can do and there is a lot I can be when I let myself get to that place and stay there. How could I let anything or anyone control my well-being for so long?

My nice little nature walk ended up to be some kind of warrior walk, because since then nothing can bring me down. Its amazing what happens when you snap out of it. Turning to a higher power and excersize instead of food changed my outlook on my current toxic situation. I will not be a part of it anymore.

My life is great. I am madly in love and getting married, I have a crazy family that loves and supports me the best they know how and I really am starting to love myself more and more everyday the more healthier I become. This is great. I will never forget this week. I know it is a new beginning.

Meet Kristen!

Meet Kristen, one of our Mindful Weight Loss participants. We've created this blog so that Kristen can share her journey to healthier living through our three- month Mindful Weight Loss Program. Thanks, Kristen, for being an inspiration to us all!

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June 8, 2011

Before joining Mindful Health, everything seemed to be a struggle. My weight held me back mentally and physically. I felt guilty every time I ate something. I knew I needed help and like to take a holistic approach on as many things as possible.

Since starting the weight loss program at Mindful Health with Nicole, I have made very strong changes and strides. Every week I look forward to my appointment because I know I will leave feeling uplifted, not alone and definetly with answers to my questions! As soon as I sit down with Nicole and we start talking, I feel myself shifting. Like I can really do this. The more I go, the more confident I feel.

In the short time that I have been there, I have fallen in love with this armband that helps me see how many steps I take, how long I sleep and how long I have intense activity for. The armband is amazing; you plug it into your computer (the program automatically pops up),type in the food you have eaten for the day and then it compares calories in and calories out. It also includes if you are on a "weight loss track" or a "weight gain track". It's so creative and different than anything I've ever done.

On average I take 13,000 steps a day! Who knew? I never would have unless I had my fun little armband on! The first week I lost 8 pounds and I seem to be losing 2 more every week since.The only difficult thing about this weightloss is my own mental blocks. Over the years I've really let myself go and I am my worst enemy. I've gotten so used to eating whatever and then feeling tremendous guilt. But, I'm happy I am not in this totally alone.

My battle has been long with weightloss...I care, I don't care... What I've recently realized is the battle has been with myself all along. I'm working on putting my health above all other things and I know the rest will fall into place.